As a believer, God wants us to be sure of his promises for our lives and to believe him for them. But there's one thing that believers struggle to understand most of the time and that's........how to wait.
Waiting is not the easiest thing to do, especially for a believer in Jesus. ....."It seems like we have to do all this waiting God, what's the fun in this?!" We'll easily get off track with the more complaining we do and the impatient spirit we'll carry if we don't ask Jesus to change our perspective in the wait.
But what if you did allow him to do that but you still have difficulties waiting?
So let's talk real. Let's talk raw. Let's be honest.
Just like you may be, I am walking through this season of waiting on the things God has specifically promised me and has it been easy? Of course not. I've had moments of doubting, assuming maybe I heard God wrong, scared that maybe I was just dreaming again. My emotions running wild. It got to the point where I asked the Lord, "Is this you or me? Give me your wisdom." Of course God is faithful, and he did give me his wisdom, and in fact reassured me that what I heard was indeed from him. I was so encouraged. He even gave me some understandings of my current circumstances and about myself that encourage me to understand the wait for what he spoke.
Until one day I utter these words.....
..."Lord, help me keep pushing. I'm growing tired. I keep trying to disqualify myself from your promises because I can't see myself the way you see me. I feel forgotten. And even though I understand the wait is significant, it's hard to even cope sometimes. Give me a fresh wind. Encourage my spirit again. Give me the strength.
Keep my eyes from worthless things that only amplifies the opposite of waiting for you. I will continue to trust in you, but come and change my perspective again."
Now how did it go from being sure and encouraged of the wait to that?! Somehow, someway, I lost perspective and got tired. It just seemed like there was always delays happening in my life. I know! I know! I know! I know I need to focus on my relationship with you Lord, continue to develop, and be faithful with the season you have me in but I can't help but to feel annoyed by this process.
What happens when your contentment is running a bit dry in your current season?
What happens when you just can't help but to be honest and say Lord.."I'm tired?"
Do you too feel this way? Do you too ask questions about your waiting season? Do you need Jesus to help change your perspective again and or for the first time?
My thousands of "what happens" questions was simply answered: "GREATER INTIMACY"
Your difficulties waiting produces greater intimacy with Jesus because it creates a space for you and your relationship with him to develop beyond where it is. That's why it's all about perspective in how to deal with your difficulties because of what it will potentially do to your faith. It will either grow your faith or hinder it. So the complaints, confusions, frustrations, weariness, and or whatever you feel has a divine purpose for your greater intimacy with him.
Let me explain further....
1. Be honest.
Jesus knew that the wait would be challenging for you, that's why he's never annoyed when you want to walk and believe in faith but you struggle a bit to do that. For me, I knew I had a tough time being honest with him. I never wanted Jesus to know how I really felt (as if I could ever hide anything from him) because I assumed he would think I didn't believe him for what he said.
Listen... Jesus knows that you believe him, but also knew the walk behind it. He never expected any of us to step into this thing 110% in faith, he meant for our faith walk to be a journey. (notice the characters in the bible all had a faith journey. Some doubted. Some feared. Some needed their perspective changed too.) He knows we need to grow in faith, and the Holy Spirit is amazing because he is willing to help you walk through your unbelief. He will help you believe and trust him. (How encouraging can that get?!) Which means the pressure that you put on yourself is only the enemy making you believe that God is upset with you for not believing him as you think you don't. So he keeps you from being open about how you feel in this waiting.
Honesty has always been important to Jesus, because it shows humility. It reassures yourself that you need Jesus. That's why it's okay to express yourself as Jesus desires for you to do it more frequently. Whoever told you that you couldn't be honest before our Lord, we rebuke that now. Your emotions matter to him. He never said you couldn't feel. He just knows that he has the wisdom and answers to keep you walking in this season. Your faith is developing and through your honesty, that produces greater intimacy with Jesus. You'll grow into being more comfortable with expressing yourself to him once you keep opening up to him in practice. Cry out to him, tell him you're tired, but be willing to also receive his peace that surpasses your understanding because although you want to let it out, let him fill back in your heart. You will always need it.
So be encouraged to know that Jesus isn't annoyed by your honesty, he's actually quite honored because that's one of his greatest desires of you. He longs to hear you speak to him about what he already knew.
So be encouraged to know that Jesus isn't annoyed by your honesty, he's actually quite honored because that's one of his greatest desires of you. He longs to hear you speak to him about what he already knew.
2. Allow yourself to be weak.
I can't tell you how many times I would pretend I wasn't weak. Listen, All it will do is make things worse and potentially stray you in a different direction than the one God has you on because you haven't invited Jesus in your weakness. One day I boldly said...."Jesus, I normally don't allow myself to be weak, but today I am. Please come into my weakness. I am feeling a little weary today." You don't know how attractive that it to God. (per Michael Todd who preached this wonderful sermon about learning how to be weak.) God loves us too much to keep seeing his children walk around and pretend to be strong when we're barely holding on. The wait can be one of the most enduring seasons, but the Lord's strength always keeps us putting one foot in front of the other. When it comes to weakness, know that that also creates a space for greater intimacy with Jesus. He wants us to come to him when we're weary as he promises to give us rest. (Matthew 11:28)
Your weakness toward your journey and seeing things the way Jesus has showed you is normal. You aren't alone. I can testify and say that my perspective has been attacked constantly since hearing God speak specifically in my life. I feel like I have double the insecurities then I didn't think I had before because what he spoke is beyond me. What God will speak to you will be beyond you. So don't be surprise if all of sudden you feel weak and insecure in this season.
Does the Lord want you to sit in your weakness for too long? Of course not. But he does want you to acknowledge that you are weak. He gives us the moment to sit with him in our weakness, but we just don't know how to or do we ever really want to. We don't like to sit in what we think isn't going to do much. But it will do the most when God is invited to sit with you. You'll get your strength from him. You'll feel his presence. He'll give you hope again. Just.... "Where are you?!" Jesus wants to set the time to sit quietly with you and he'll ask to bring your weakness too.
......
This entire journey will teach you so much. It will grow you in so many ways, and when it comes to your difficulties (as I too do have) it makes your testimony more glorifying to the Lord; because our lives were meant to glorify the Father. You very well know the difficulties you face on a daily basis, and asking myself "What happens when you understand the wait but you still have difficulties waiting?" was healing for me. Because I knew I was heard by the Lord. I knew he wanted to get me in this space to where I was the most vulnerable to express myself the deepest.
It helps me to see the beauty of this Faith Journey; that there will be ups and downs but there will always be the same God standing right there too. So "What Happens?!" Your faith grows. Your identity reaffirmed in Christ. Your character will be developed. Your perspective will be clear.
Jesus will help you in your time of difficulties waiting on him. As I speak to myself too, believe that this wait is purposeful. God's getting you prepare for what you would have never imagined. He has great plans. So keep going. You got this. Remember to be honest and allow yourself to be weak in his presence when you have those moments of feeling the weight of the wait.
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