To the woman who feels.... Part 3

Anxious about the Future 

"I want to know what's next God.

I can't stand not being able to see what's ahead 

I like to have some sense of understanding 

But I get it! Is that really faith if I knew everything? 

I know your word says to trust you with all my heart and not lean on my understanding, 

But I can't help but wonder. 

It seems like life is going down hill, so what's your plan? 

I need a sign. I need wisdom.

I know. I know. I just need to relax and trust you." 

Everyone cringes over the lack of knowing what's next. Follower of Jesus or not. It drives us up the wall. We seek God anxiously for clarity, wisdom, and direction and it feels like you're not getting anywhere. The promises that God spoke over you suddenly seems blurry and feels like everything is drying up around you. You have to hold on to your faith, but you can't help to admit that you're anxious about how God is actually going to show up in your life. The next season seems so far away. You make up scenarios & visualize the best way to get some sort of possibility into your next. I don't know if that may be you. But it most certainly is me. 

I have such a broad imagination and I'm training myself not to treat it as a curse. Because to be honest, it can try and get in the way of allowing God to truly blow my mind with his plans. God has shared promises that I'm so excited for, that all of a sudden I feel anxious about. Why? Because I didn't realize that it is in the in-between transitions that God grows your faith, develops your character, and molds/shapes you. The in-between is the place where we're tempted to think about the "how" when God is most interesting in your refining. See, God shares the promise..we get excited..but we naively dismiss the process to the promise. Yikes. Could that be why we're all anxious? 

We don't feel like sitting and receiving. We don't feel like enduring and growing. We want the promise now. We're ready to see it happen. "You have a bright future for me Lord, you said so yourself, but why is it taking so long?" "What am I suppose to do right now? "Can you give me the next step?" "I can't see what you're doing and it's freaking me out?!" 

Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5

But what does it look like not to depend on your own understanding?

Does that mean not to ask God too many questions? 

Does that mean not to think about it? 

How do we know we're trusting the Lord with our whole hearts?

Is being concerned an indication that I'm not trusting the Lord? 

I know. These are questions I still ask myself today too. We want to trust God but have you ever asked him what does it look like? When it comes to trusting God, I don't think it's by a matter of feeling, I believe it's the matter of knowing him. Do you know that he is all knowing? Do you believe that he is working all things out for your good? Do you know that he has a hope and a future for you? Maybe those profound truths aren't enough to calm your anxious soul. You feel you work well with having to know every step. Maybe you're the planner and it's bothers you not to have a plan together. Its like God is interfering with your normalcy of needing to know all the time.

In your walk of faith, God has a way of putting you in situations that requires you to trust him. I can only speak for myself in saying that he has exhausted all possibilities as to how I thought he was going to show up in my life. I got upset countless times thinking God was going to show up one way and wind-up showing up in another. It was his way of reminding me that I don't know his every move. I'm not suppose to. It requires trust. God will surprise you in a heartbeat, answering that prayer in such a space where you didn't think he would. 

I don't know about you, but this pandemic has seriously put my faith into place. I'm learning to live in the "I don't know" and being okay with it. It's very hard and isn't comfortable at all. But it's going to be okay. If you're anxious about your future, I want to share the two main encouragements that is helping even myself right now.

1. Practice remembering what God has already done for you and how far you've came.

You wanna know the greatest way to bless the heart of God? Is to remember. Remember that he is good. Remember that he's brought you from a long way. God does a lot for his children. He does more than we could ever think of and when I remember that, I would say "You should be ashamed of yourself for how you've dismissed what God has done for you" but God doesn't like when I condemn myself (so don't beat yourself up) just take a minute to pause and remember. Allow his presence to reassure you that he never left even when it feels like he left you in a dry place. He's still working. He's still thinking about you and strategically handling things that you couldn't handle for yourself. Your journey isn't over by one season. He has more in store. But I believe he create space for us to intentionally remember because it's important. It's there, peace begins to well within your soul. 

Remember that you have to put it into practice in order to remain within God's rest. The enemy is quick to snatch your peace away when he sees that you're living in the present grateful. He wants to make you anxious about your future, but resist. Tell him to go sit down somewhere and journal away with what God has done for you. 

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 

2. Get to know him better. 

Our anxiety may have something to do with a lack of intimacy with Jesus. Maybe your relationship with Jesus is flourishing right now but you still feel anxious sometimes. That's okay. Jesus isn't asking us to walk in 110% faith everyday, he knows we doubt within the moment. (hints: peter.) But he also wants to teach us how to rest and allow this season to help you get to know him more. 

My relationship with Jesus has grown so much because I didn't know what else to do with this season but to turn to the one who knew more about it than me. When you're anxious about what's next, it's the best time to pursue Jesus like never before. He creates the space for you to get to know who he is. When all is lost and possibilities are exhausted, he's standing right there waiting for you to turn to him. 

I can hear him saying "Coooommme on, I know you're tired. I've been watching you strive and wear yourself out trying to figure out what I am doing. But come sit with me awhile and rest. I got you." 

Jesus is so sweet. He cares about you and doesn't intend on leading you down any wrong paths nor failing you. That next season will be so beautiful because of the growth you decided to take upon in this season of waiting. Just think, this next time around, you're more closer to Christ than ever. You'll be more strengthen to endure and persevere, and you'll always have the testimonies behind what you're currently going through. Today, surrender your need to know and be encouraged that the one who created you is SURE about your future.

SCRIPTURES FOR ANXIETY:

"When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer." Psalm 94:19

"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6-7

"Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up." Proverbs 12:25

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." John 14:27

Prayer: 

Heavenly Father, 
We thank you that you know our beginning to end. Help us to surrender our need to know what's next. We are tired and always wondering but help us to never lose sight of who you are. Let us dwell in your presence, remembering what you've done and how far you've brought us. We love how you consistently sit with us in this dry place, but living water is forever present. Living water has the power to change any situation and give us peace no matter where we are. Thank you that you're always working for our best and let us remember that we we're going through is to prepare us for what you have next. Thank you for everything.

 In Jesus Name' Amen 

To the woman who feels... Part 2

TIRED. 

Lord, what is happening right now? I'm so tired.

It seems like every time I'm in a good space with my peace

Something comes and hits me from another direction 

Why does it seem like I keep getting attacked over and over again?

Did you leave me here to fight every single battle by myself?

I know you're my strength when I am weak

But it feels like a setup to be defeated

But wait...

I suddenly remember that song "Surrounded" by Michael W Smith

As the lyrics "It may look like I'm surrounded but I'm surrounded by you" spoke to my soul

I heard your still small voice say "get up again" 

Every time I've felt weak and tired, I would feel his comforting presence and hear his sweet whisper of  "Keep enduring Daughter. It's only for a little while" I would shake my head with tears streaming down my face. "I don't know Lord, I'm doing my best to keep pushing." I would imagine Christ standing next to me with his hand on my shoulder telling me to take a deep breath and rest in the "be still and know I am God". It's exhausting just thinking of what is wearing you out. 

"Father, I feel overworked at my job. Things keep changing and it's getting annoying, it seems like there are some unrealistic expectations being made and I am doing my best."

"Am I being obedient enough? I don't want to stress myself out but I just want to know how I'm doing. I know you said that your love & salvation isn't earned, it's freely given, but sometimes I feel myself working to impress you." 

"Lord, what's going on with this credit card, it seems like I've been doubled charged for an uber.  *signs* I have to call and make sure these transactions are correct. See Lord? It seems like i'm being attacked left from right."

I believe God has tons of jars for every single tear I've shed in this season.You have to bear through the weight of tests and trials, make sure you learn from them, keep growing, stay obedient, and on top of that, you have to endure through little attacks you know the enemy is trying to use to distract you from the real battles that are worth our energy in defeating. "Lord, this is too much. I need a break." But as soon as my rant is over, Jesus kindly reminds me....

"So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold, though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world." 1 Peter 1:6-7 NLT

"Jesus you're the one that we hope for. And when you tell me to count it all joy, it can be very hard to do because my mind sometimes is always fixed on the circumstance at hands instead of the eternal promise of knowing that this too shall pass." 

Our weariness is normal, Christ knows we're tired. He got tired. (I Recommend you watch this incredible sermon by Steven Furtick "Tired on the Inside") We get tired of the same cycles, certain environments, lack of political change, the lynching of black lives, nagging bosses, social media trolls, COVID-19, our own addictions and habits, and countless of things that you may feel tired to even express. Let's breathe and rest. Close your eyes. Imagine Christ's hand on your shoulder. 

When I read 1 Peter 1:6-7, Jesus helped me to see that at the end of the day, we always had the victory. Currently, I've been experiencing some heavy refining and there have been days when tears were words. I would feel the weight of the test and or trial, I would deal with trying not to respond to what's negatively being poured out at me. I would endure and endure and sit feeling empty. Feeling like strength left my entire body. "Lord, if I had the choice, I would want you to come and pick me up a little earlier. I would rather be with you than to put up with this." Every time I said that, he knew I was speaking from a place of wanting to give up and stop trying. His heart was warmed for just wanting to be with him, but he also reassured me that it is not time yet. He still has so much he wants to do through me before he returns. 

When we're tired, its tempting to look at what God has blessing us with and all of sudden treat it like it's a curse. The job God blessed me with started getting on my nerves, I felt it was time to move on in my life, so I stopped sowing into that place. I was just tired, letting my timing speak for itself. But I had to get out of myself and ask Jesus where was he. Obviously he's still at the same place with me at this current job. Therefore, I need to surrender my moodiness to believe I'm so ready to move on and stay faithful with where I am. 

Another reason why I felt so tired was because I was working myself up to the approval of God. Listen, if you believe that you can earn God's love through your works. You're missing the point of his grace. He isn't checking for you to work for his love. His salvation was given freely. He loves you no matter what. I was wearing myself out thinking I needed to be doing something in order to let God know that I loved him and that I wanted to be loved in return. Nothing can separate you from the love of Christ. (Romans 8:38) "So breathe and rest. Close your eyes. Imagine Christ's hand on your shoulder."

When we're tired, it may seem like God isn't listening, but he is. I believe that it is he that turns the fire up a notch because there's something he placed down on the inside of you that he's birthing out. You're in such a refining season, so everything around you and within seems tiring. Test and trials come suddenly, and you feel like you have to defeat the fight by yourself, as if God pushed you out on the battlefield to make a fool of yourself. God doesn't do that. Most of the battles that wear us out are the ones that we're trying to fight that belong to him.

When we're tired, the Lord wants to teach us to cling to him. We're use to running for strength in other places and or people. He wants to be the ultimate source of strength. He gives strength to the weary. He gives rest to the weary. Let's breathe and rest. Close your eyes. Imagine Christ's hand on your shoulder. 

 

Notice I kept repeating "Let's breathe and rest. Close your eyes. Imagine Christ's hand on your shoulder." because it's an amazing holy imagination that takes your eyes off of what is weighting you down and onto your savior. What you're enduring through is only for a little while sis. Take the pressure off of yourself to feel like you have to throw at least one more punch, when the Lord is standing right next to you fighting that battle. There are some battles Jesus equips us for, but there are also battles that belong to the Lord. He's already won. You've already won. You've had the victory sense before you were in your Mother's womb. Rest in his presence.

We're all tired from something so spend quiet time asking yourself honest questions.

Get to the bottom of what's making you tired. 

It can be personal.

 It could relate to what's going on in this world. 

Either way, Jesus cares and understands. He just wants to hear from you. 

He desires to give strength to the weary. 

1. What's weighting on your heart in this season? 

2. What have you allowed to stress you out and make you feel tired? 

3. What has God blessed you with that you're tempted to treat as a curse? 

Scriptures for the weary and tired: 

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." | Matthew 11:28-29

I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint. | Jeremiah 31:25

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” Isaiah 40:29

"For who is God besides The Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure." Psalm 18:31-32

"He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10

To the woman who feels.....

INSECURE. 
(Warning: I plan on being transparent.)

"Why do I keep doing this to myself?
If Christ said that I was enough then why don't I feel that within my heart?
What false lie did I believe that made me feel this way?
Who said something that made me feel this way?
What thoughts did I allow to grow in my heart?
What hasn't happened in my life that could be the reason why I feel this way? 
Why do I keep doing this to myself? 
I can't stop thinking about how much I feel inadequate
I need to stop, that's not healthy. 
God says i'm enough, but why don't I still feel that in my heart?
Maybe I know why. 
Maybe I don't.
Maybe I don't want to face the truth.
Maybe I'm afraid to go through the process.
If God again keeps telling me i'm enough, what is my problem with believing it?


 Did you know that the biggest attack we will face daily is insecurity?

And if you knew.... Did you take the time to deal with it? Let's face it. We don't like to get to the root of our insecurities sometimes, we just feel and keep it moving. We say we will deal with them later but somehow you feel the Lord nudging you about them. He cares. And wants you to care enough too.

As women, we feel more than we know, and insecure is the main one. Maybe you don't think so, but you and I both know you felt uneasy at some point about YOU. See, YOU makes the difference that somebody needs in this world, so of course the biggest attack we face daily will always be insecurity.

The most sensitive area of my life is where most of my insecurities rooted from and that is romantic relationships. I'm a 25 year old Single Christian Woman who has never dated nor been in a relationship before. 

"Lord, is there something wrong with me?"

 "Am I not enough or am I too much?"

"What do I need to change about myself so that I can be what somebody wants?" 

"Am I not attractive?"  

"I'm looking in the mirror, double checking to make sure I even look good." 

"Does my body even look desirable? I don't have the so called "bad chick" look."

"He's probably going to think I look like a little girl." 

I will not sit here and write this post without being transparent. I actually had these thoughts. 

I looked at myself as the problem instead of a promise. I questioned my value instead of stewarding over it. I overlooked the blessing of God's protection instead of praising him for it. I made myself feel less than by my choice of thought. I chose to believe I wasn't enough. I chose to believe that I was the lack of the provision. Oh, what thoughts that make you feel insecure. 

God's word is pretty clear about what he says about you. He doesn't look at you in any way a human would. He sees exactly what he created. He didn't create you to be an option in somebody's cart to possibly buy later. He bought you already and has no intentions on putting you back on the market. 

I was that woman who just didn't feel enough. The thought of being single drove me insane. "Lord, Could you have let me at least have some dating experiences? All I was asking for was for God to let me date so that I could cure an insecurity. "If I could just...."  Just what? The desire to relate was feeding into my insecurities. How deceitful to believe that a man pursuing would make me finally believe that I was attractive and worthy. 

I knew I was indeed Christ's Masterpiece. I knew I was chosen and loved. But I didn't feel it. See, here's the thing about "feelings" Feelings are never wise to follow. Feelings can change throughout your day. So if feelings are unstable than why would we be led by them? 

Christ is sure of his Word and sometimes you won't feel what he says to you right away, but it will always be true of you. When you're use to speaking against that truth, you have to give it time to grow. It was hard for me to believe that nothing was wrong with me because I was use to telling myself that it was. What you rehearse becomes your song. 

Maybe you've rehearsed loneliness and unworthiness. That sad tune needs to be given back to Christ, and in him let the process of your healing begin. There is a such thing as healing from insecurities.

"I can't keep doing this to myself. 

I can't talk like this anymore.

My worth is found in Christ.

He is all that I need.

He is the only man I know that doesn't waver in thought about me.

He is my comfort and my life support.

He is my friend. 

I am beautiful. 

I am worth the wait.

I will not be defined by culture and its impatience.   

Sis, I still struggle sometimes, but the more I rehearse his Word over my life, the more it takes roots over all the insecurities I use to speak over myself. I have to let go. I have to surrender. I have to believe that God does have the best for my life and knows exactly what he is doing.

"I can't keep doing this to myself."

As you can see, "I can't keep doing this to myself' is repeated. 

We as woman sometimes have a bad habit of the way we talk and or treat ourselves. 

There is a root to everything we may feel insecure about. For this first exercise I want you to identity the root of your insecurity. You may have multiple, which is okay to confess. You can identity each one of them to keep from growing too deep within your heart.

1. How do you feel about you? 

2. What makes us women feel insecure at times? 

3. Has society made you feel insecure? 

4. Did something happen or did someone say anything to you that made you feel insecure?


Be okay with your honesty. God can handle it so allow yourself to be brave enough to handle it too.
You open up wounds to the right healer and his name is Jesus Christ.

Scriptures of TRUTH to cure your insecurities: 

You're his ambassador. 

"So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” | 2 Corinthians 5:20 

You're his masterpiece. 

"For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." | Ephesians 2:10 

You're chosen. 

"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you." | John 15:16

"But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." | 1 Peter 2:9 

“You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord, “and my servant whom I have chosen, that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he. Before me no god was formed, nor shall there be any after me. | Isaiah 43:10 

You're loved. 

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." |  John 3:16 

You're beautiful. 

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." | Psalms 139:14