If I can be honest, I'm having a hard time believing in myself for a lot of soon to come things. My mind always wonders "What would I be like as a Leader? Wife? Mother?" The major roles that carry greater responsibilities right?!. They scare me. Do I really have what it takes to be this leader God sees me as? Do I really have what it takes to carry the role of a Wife? The loving, hard-working Mother?
Sooner or later I get overwhelmed because I'm trying to jump in a time that has not come yet. I would ask God "What makes you believe in me the way you do?" Or God maybe my problem is I'm having a hard time believing in you and what you said. Maybe I just don't like your timing and how you work sometimes. Yeah, that's it. That's my confession.
With Leadership, I can easily say I have faith in believing God for the ministry he spoke over my life, but my heart is actually scared of the process to get to that and the dependence on God it really takes to wait on him for that provision. Plus the platforms that look appealing to an audience that may have no idea what it takes to even get up on a stage to confidently spread the gospel. The team that you pray without ceasing for. It's just a lot that comes with ministry and as a Leader. God, that's scary.
With relationships, I can easily say I have faith in believing God for an God-ordained relationship/marriage but my heart is actually scared of it because I've never experienced a dating relationship before. "What am I suppose to say?" "What am I suppose to do?" It's overwhelming to think of the impression of someone, yet along try to read their minds about how they may feel about you. You hear too much of what culture has distorted about dating and relationships, and when that world is foreign, you don't know how to prepare. You pray for the unrealistic expectations to be lifted within your heart and the person that God has for you. God, that's scary.
But each "God, that's scary" is the response from the Father "I believe in you."
It takes a lot of faith to believe you're capable of something that you've never been in before. It's a scary leap but worth seeing exactly what God saw. I can easily sit here and think of all the future roles and still miss who I currently am and can be right now. And that's "A Daughter of God"
No I am not in a romantic relationship nor do I have all the leadership priorities just yet. But I know what role I can continue to play and that's being a Daughter of Christ. That's being a servant. It's being submissive to the only one that really does matter. God helped me to change my perspective of what I can steward over such as being on the worship team at my church, being a loyal friend/sister in Christ, honoring my parents, and the role at your job that may seem insignificant. Those are all still roles that carry a greater responsibility.
My biggest problem has been focus and I can see why, because when I focus I always think of ways to better represent Christ with what I have and as the enemy knows this, he distracts with what we don't have and lies to us saying that what's in front of us isn't still a priority.
Hearing Jesus reassure me about what's in front of me brings light into the situation because if he believes in me with what I have in front of me, the more to come will be just as conquering. I don't have to be afraid of what I don't know because as God's word says in Ecclesiastes 3:11 "Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end."
I have a choice to fill my mind with the doubts of the future or I'm going to believe that God already believed I could do it as he was forming me. So if you're like me, be encouraged to know that God isn't surprised by our first response.
I believe God chuckles when our first response is doubt and fear because it's a common response. If you take a look at the characters in the bible, you'll read their responses and if you were in front of them you probably would've heard the tremble in their voices too. They all were perplexed. The two characters in the bible that I think of the most are:
Moses:
But Moses pleaded with the Lord, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.” Exodus 4:10
Gideon:
"Pardon me, my lord," Gideon replied, "but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family." Judges 6:15
And God's responses:
"Then the Lord asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.” Exodus 6:11
"The Lord said to him, “I will be with you. And you will destroy the Midianites as if you were fighting against one man.” Judges 6:16
No matter how hard they tried to plead with God and choose to speak from their deficiencies, God never changed his mind about who he knew they were and I don't know about you but I am extremely encouraged right now. You can see the beautiful example of how God knows our first response isn't first faith. The "How in the world God?!" is God's "it was always you when I formed you". I believe in you.
You don't have to fight for someone to see your worth and know that you're able because God already told you that you were able. That's all the validation you need. You have his strength, you can know his voice, you can receive his power, and mighty comfort. He believes in you. So please... "believe in yourself."
Don't continue to let the enemy speak death over what has yet to come. Whatever it is for you that you feel you're inadequate in before its time, God believes in you. You will be all that he has called you to be. Just remember to be what he wants you to be right now because that's still significant.
I can look at what's to come from a better perspective. I'm not going to look at it with a perfect lens or else I'm going to assume everything must be perfect. The new mistakes are there. The new lessons are there. But never forget that God's grace is already there too. God has graced us already to be everything that he has called us to be. When he shares what he has chosen you for, he didn't tell you so that you could assume you were responsible for everything. He wants to walk with you in it. He wants you to embrace the journey, keep enduring, and never forget that he is with you.
God believes in you. If you have to say that to yourself every second, minute, hour, etc. Do that. Because you are so powerful. What he has destined for you is far greater than you could ever imagine, and it's his grace that does the greatest work.
You don't have to carry this life in your own strength anymore.
You don't have to take on what you know only God can do.
You don't have to be afraid anymore.
You can do it.
You can do it.
You can do it.
God loves you and he will forever believe in you.
He will forever speak to the one he created and not the deficiencies that we see.
He didn't make a mistake, he made a masterpiece.
And just as those amazing characters in the bible conquered, so can you and I.
...."I believe in you....So believe in yourself"
Prayer:
Father, I pray in the name of Jesus that whomever reads this knows that you believe in them. You did not leave them to try and figure everything out. Your word says that you never leave nor forsake us, therefore, let us grab ahold to that promise. Let us remember that we do not have to walk this life alone. We do not have to believe that we are not able to be all that you have called us to be. Let us remember to be who we can be today. What's in front of us is just as important as the next and you do see us successfully and gracefully conquering through those new roles. It's your love that keeps us going.
I pray for any soul that is discouraged to begin believing in you again. Thank you for believing in us the way that you do. We will never forget that you are our creator that created a giant within us. Thank you. We will conquer, endure, and see the beauty of all we can do through you.
In Jesus Name' Amen
